25 January 2008


This morning I've had a flurry of hypothetical questions on my mind. What if things were different? What if my plans included y instead of x? Would (or will) I regret choosing one set of options over another? What am I willing to relinquish? Other than my faith in Jesus Christ, what will I cling to at all cost? Could the call of God in my life be answered obediently in more than one way? Or maybe it's better asked this way: Is God's calling in my life something that is specific or general? (I think God calls some people to specific tasks and others to more general ones - which kind of calling is mine?) Can I live fully, faithfully, joyfully with a different set of circumstances than those I envision? Can I with the ones I'm choosing now?

Some of these questions we answer for ourselves. We get to learn to live into them, accepting the outcome as the end that we chose over other possible ends with the hope that God is somehow in the midst of that process - guiding us, journeying with us. Some questions are answered for us, for better or for worse, and we learn to live with those too. Other questions we can only answer alongside others. Here's where the questions of what we are willing to leave behind and what we will not release become the most complicated and the most urgent to answer.

Such hypothetical questions and the world of dim, hazy possibilities behind them are like planted seeds. They each seem to hold the potential for life that gives way to more life. Given the conditions of soil, water and temperature, some will germinate while others lie forever dormant. For now, the surface of the soil is still smooth - who can tell which fragile shoots will break through?


Anonymous said...

Hello Kelli!

Seems a few of us are on a quest... I might be about 8 hours from you in the next month or so. I have given my resignation to RHM and RCC this week, and will be looking for a full-time position (whatever that means). I hope to be able to plan a trip to Abilene once I get to my Mom's later this month. Miss ya...


Naomi said...

One of the more interesting avenues of hypothesis for me is: In any given situation, is "what we will not release" god-given or god-demanded.

Meaning, I believe that sometimes God creates us with intense passions which are meant to guide our decisions. To quote Sister Act 2, "If you wake up in the morning, and you can't think anything but singing, then you should be a singer."

But in some situations, the very passion God created in you is what he wants you to give up. It's hard to tell the difference. So then what?

Just thought about that when I read your post. See you Monday afternoon.

Kelli said...

That's a fascinating insight, Naomi. Thanks! Anyone out there have any suggestions for discerning the god-given from the god-demanded?

Amber Joy said...

God demanded you love Him and love others.
(As always, I'll be here for ya baby, to offer you these wise words of nonsense you already know and that's entirely not helpful!)
Love ya!