29 April 2006

feel the power

Last night I had a fabulous time at DPS's house eating dessert after dessert and talking with friends. After Amber and I sloshed home through the rain (thanks for the umbrella, Donald), I decided to do some laundry while reading for church history. The thing I love about doing laundry is that it almost always means I get to "slip into something more comfortable." Little did I know that another force entirely beyond my control was spinning into motion. As I pulled on my p.j.'s, the odds of getting anything done were growing smaller and smaller.

It's not what you might think - I regularly fall asleep trying to make it through all of my reading late into the evening. This time it was something totally different than the norm.

Now, not many of us have an article of clothing that ups our personal charisma and charm by about 1,000%. But I do. Yes, thanks to sweet Shellie, I have the most appealing article of clothing known to humankind. They're fresh and vibrant like brand new blades of grass, soft and sleek like a baby rabbit, warm and cozy like down comforter. If I can be totally honest, they're downright sexy. Once I slipped these babies on, there was no hope of accomplishing anything, except perhaps increasing the devotion and affection of my roommates:

That's right, a simple pair of green socks. Oh, but they're so much more. You know those plush baby blankets that are so soft you just want to engulf yourself in their folds and pull a Rip Van Winkle? These socks are even better. The label on them said, "Socks to stay home in," and I can see why: if I wore these out in public total strangers would want to play footsie with me. Heck, I wanna play footsie with myself! I can't just parade that kind of power out in the streets - I'd get mobbed! Two of my roommates were so drawn to them that they couldn't help kissing my feet. (Really, I'm not kidding. It shocked me, too.) We talked about how magnetic they are for about an hour. It's as if the laws of physics have been turned on their head and now gravity has more to do with soft, plushy material than with mass. I thought about including their testimonials here, but they found it difficult to express the overwhelming influence of the green socks. Even Dorothy would be jealous.

Needless to say, few people will have the opportunity to encounter these little beauties. I just don't want to abuse their power. It's out of concern for your own safety, really.

8 comments:

Amber Joy said...

I can see how they'd be very sexy... if they were all that you were wearing!

Kelli said...

Hmm... I don't know how to respond to that. (Except to think about turning on the comment moderation function...) Clearly, Amber, you either under-estimate or over-estimate the power of the socks. I can't decide which!

Donald Philip Simpson said...

When I scrolled down to view your socks, I finally realized about three hours later that I had been captured by their blissful power, and also that my own legs had fallen asleep and had to dial 911 for medical attention. When the paramedics did arrive, they began to question me as to what had happened. When I showed them the socks... well lets just say that six hours later the fire and police departments were called, then the national guard and finally after 4 days, the power company had to cut all power to the house in order to have my computer screen go black.

You need a warning label or something, those socks are powerful!!


Thanks for you and Amber coming over that night and for the two of you, Bonnie and Helen for the note and cookies... :)

Katrina said...

Great post.

Donald Philip Simpson said...

Please BLOG again, as every time I check to see if you do, I get mesmorized and sucked into looking at those socks...

Hope your weekend is going well, I'll see you soon or at least on Wednesday.

... and yes the papers are coming along :)

Kelli said...

Well, since you asked, DPS, I guess I'll oblige. This is a terrible time of the semester to get so sucked into some pathetic website. Of course, I totally understand how it could happen considering the sensational appeal of the socks...

Jessica said...

I got two pairs of socks like those for Christmas...both striped, but otherwise exactly the same as you're describing. I think I must have sat with them for an hour or two, just contemplating the softness. And then...I put them on my feet. Let's just say, those socks...a cup of tea...and sitting next to Joel while reading a great book...makes for a really nice afternoon.

Unfortunately, they don't withstand my Asian washing machine so well (washing machines here tend to be a bit more rough on clothes than those in the states) and the lovely, soft, kitten-like fuzz is starting to come out. So now, I'm saving them for days when I want to relax even more.

-Jessica

Kelli said...

Jessica - I totally understand your fear of putting them in the washing machine... even if it's not an Asian one. I haven't washed them yet because I'm worried that the softness will never be the same. (But I guess I should before they start to stink...)